Only I can validate me, my own life and existence this side of Heaven by what I do here on earth. What I don’t want to do is leave a legacy of pain and dysfunction for my children to inherit. I’ve come to realize that the work that I do on myself has a monumental effect on my children and everyone that I come in contact with. Walking through the fire of purification, feeling the pain of disconnecting from the attachment to this world is the only way to get to the other side – healing for my soul. I don’t know if this makes any sense…the pain that I felt putting bandaids on my deep wounds and pretending everything was all good was far more painful than the pain I feel from allowing God to heal me. Going through His healing process is a good hurt albeit painful as well. I can’t imagine believing and serving a God who didn’t have the power to deliver me and radically change my life. To me, that would be stupid. Why would I purposely set myself up for more hurt, suffering and disillusionment. I’ve had enough of that to last my whole life through.
The whole purpose of going on this 40 Day Soul Fast, was to get rid of all the residual junk in my life so that I can experience God in a deeper more profound way. I want the life that God says I can have not something that I settle for because I don’t have the guts to leap from the window of my life into the arms of God. What I want, I don’t want just for myself. I want it for my children and everybody I know. Especially, those that I’ve watched suffer for years and have been unable to tap God and break free from the things that they are held captive to. I just see existing. The depth of my relationship with God depends entirely upon me. I believe that in order to tap God, I have to aspire to be like Him. I don’t believe that I can be empowered by Him and live any way that I want to. The Book says that He is the same yesterday, today and forever more. He hasn’t changed. His word has not evolved to the point of supporting wrong living in His name.
BEING SET APART
For me the 40 Day Soul Fast is the foundation of my personal sanctification. The more time that I spend time with God through His word, the clearer the picture gets. The process of sanctification is the catalyst to Spiritual Empowerment. It is the only way to the standard of righteousness required to fulfill the call of God on my life and to leave the legacy I desire to my children. The spiritual legacy that I’ve been given has been a buffer from the world. I believe that it’s the only reason that I’m still here. I lived to testify about it, when so many that I know are gone; lost to the world in one way or another the opportunity to get it right with God gone. My children have had the opportunity to see me on both sides of the fence. They like me better on the right side I use my experiences on the wrong side as a tool to highlight the benefits of right living – righteousness. There are some things they will never do – my suffering was not in vain! Nevertheless, I can’t live their lives for them. Some things they’ll have to experience for themselves. All I can do is set the bar – it’s a high one for them to reach for. That coupled with living a good Christian life before them. Setting a standard for them to follow – to pass on to their children. My greatest hope – my continuous prayer is that the baton will not be dropped but will continue to pass on to generation after generation – continue.