05 Jul

Order makes everything possible. It would be impossible to arrive at my expected destination without a plan to get there. I cannot function in my day to day nor can I think well without my house being ordered.  Everything needs to be where it’s supposed to be.  When my life was in chaos my living environment was too. My home was a direct reflection of my psychological state of being. It was out of order and so was I. I was either too depressed, too nervous, too something to focus. I didn’t have the ability to be proactive only reactive in any situation. The enemy had me bound hand and foot. He had control of my mind – my soul.

I remember as a kid watching cartoons. There’d be someone with an angel sitting on one shoulder a devil on the other. Each trying to exact influence on the character. I don’t know if it’s politically correct to talk about or if people generally believe in Satan anymore. I do. He’s wreaked too much havoc in my life. I’ve seen him at work too many times in the lives of those I love. He’s turned the community where I grew up upside down. I know he’s real.

The real battle with him has always been in my mind. The enemy of my soul, who whispers evil nothings in my ear. He would have me to believe that God doesn’t love me. That I’m not good enough; and an array of other toxic thoughts, who’s customized design is to defeat me. That same one who’s been in my ear for quite some time. He used to have me hopping; putting me to flight. I’d act out on everything he’d put in my mind. Trying to soothe and fix myself in unhealthy ways. When I gave him any room in my life to operate, he’d tear me to pieces. It all began with one thought. If I believed the first lie he told me, he’d flood my mind with junk that was contrary to the word of God. It was always related to something plausible about me. Some area of vulnerability that he would expose and exploit. It took a long time to come to realization that what I deemed to be true of myself were his lies. I have to be very careful. He’s a master manipulator whom I’m no match for.  If I get too physically tired, mentally exhausted or emotionally overwhelmed – he can creep up on me.

Once I fully realized what was going on, I was able to do battle. The battle can only be fought and won in the spirit realm. The word of God is the only weapon powerful enough to defeat the enemy. I’m never without it. Every day, I put on the Armor of God to protect myself and my children. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5, says it best.


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