If it’s all about me where does that leave you and if it’s all about you where does that leave me? In a world that has created a culture of self absorption to the point where nothing or no one matters a great chasm of hurt, bitterness, resentment and mistrust has consumed us all. It isolates us from one another and hinders us from having and maintaining the deep, meaningful relationships that I know I need. The pain of living this life has at times, been almost unbearable and has left my soul deeply wounded and scarred.
Pain insists upon being attend to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world. C.S. Lewis
I don’t know why I once struggled with depression since I was four years old. I spent a great deal of my life not knowing what happiness was. At it’s worst I couldn’t get out of bed. The world had a solution for me. It was called therapy and anti depressants. What I found was that the medication didn’t eliminate the issue it only masked it creating for me a false sense of reality. My therapy sessions pretty much gave me permission to live any way I chose and questioned my belief in a God who insisted through His word that I aspire to embrace my higher self. To exist in the world but not be of it. It was only when I decided that I would not spend my life on psychotropics that God was able to heal me. What facilitated this healing (and others) is my faith that God could do it and my belief that He would do it. God’s best plan for me is WHOLENESS.
Part of my HEALING process and being the best human being that I can possibly be is forgiveness. Forgiving all of the people who have hurt me and just as important is asking for forgiveness of the people that I’ve hurt in my life. And there’s been a bunch. Hurting people hurt people. What I’ve discovered is that people can’t give me what they don’t have. Whether it be love, kindness, care, acceptance, support or whatever. Neither can I in turn give it unless I’m operating from a place of being Spiritually centered. And just as importantly in this process, I can’t forget to ask me to forgive me for the damage and hurt that was self inflicted.
I realize that only God can give me the magnitude of unconditional love that never changes and is always there that I need. Only God has the ability to put together all my fragmented pieces and restore my soul to a state of wholeness…the place I want to be.